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Trans-Kin: A Guide for Family & Friends of Transgender People, by Cameron Whitley, Eleanor Hubbard

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Award-winner in the 'Gay and Lesbian: Non-Fiction' category of the 2013 International Book Awards, Trans-Kin is a collection of stories from significant others, family members, friends and allies of transgender persons (SOFFAs). Powerful, thought-provoking and enlightening, this collection will provide for the head and the heart of anyone who has ever loved a transgender person. Trans-Kin is also an essential read for allies of the transgender community and anyone who wishes to become one.
- Sales Rank: #859695 in eBooks
- Published on: 2012-12-13
- Released on: 2012-12-13
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Cameron T. Whitley, M.A. is working on a Ph.D. in Sociology. In the past ten years, he has used his status as a transgender man to promote transgender equality through service to non-profit boards, working with universities regarding inclusion policies, presenting at national conferences and running support and social groups for transgender individuals. Cameron’s work has also been published in a number of books including; “Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation,” “Letters to My Brothers,” and “Femmethology.” Eleanor A. Hubbard, Ph.D. Sociology, is an ally of the transgender community. She is currently retired from full-time teaching, but continues to teach some courses concerning race, class, gender and sexual orientation. Twice she has taught at Semester at Sea, a shipboard program for global study abroad, bringing her love for sociology to students as they travel around the world. Eleanor also provides training and consulting on diversity through her business, DiversityWorks.
Most helpful customer reviews
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent compilation of vignettes by significant others of transgender people
By Dave Parker
There are a great many books about transgender people. A lot of them are autobiographical, some are published by medical professionals, and others are case studies by therapists and/or psychologists. A few are written by children in families with a transgender parent. Only a couple present on honest compilation of many points of view; Trans-Kin is one of them.
Trans-Kin is an assembly of short treatises by all kinds of significant others. They include family stories, discussion of relationships by friends, and statements of support from allies along with discussions by transgender people themselves about their relationships. The following quote provides the rationale for this highly-informative compendium:
"It's your gender, it's your life, it's your decision alone - but no matter how you do it, other people are involved. Our transitions can affect the lives of those around us and their reactions, or even the fear of their reactions, can affect our transitions. Our lives."
As you would expect from vignettes resulting from interviews with more than 50 different people with diverse experiences, the stories include similarities and many differences in experience. Some reflect acceptance by significant others - including parents and siblings. Some refer to rejection by one or more of their close relatives. Most exhibit a strong sense of family involving their chosen, accepting friends and a stronger bond with their accepting natal families.
Those of us in the transgender community - transpeople and allies alike - will recognize many of the authors and most of the situations the authors experienced. Even so, there is much to be gained by reading and sharing this latest publication.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent Resource
By GenderOutlaw
Trans-Kin: A Guide for Family & Friends of Transgender People extends the work started by Mary Boenke (editor) of Trans Forming Families: Real Stories about Transgendered Loves Ones. It is a wonderful collection of stories, art, questions/answers, references and resources. It provides a good basis for the novice, but is also a comfort to those of us who are very familiar with the community. The art and images of and from contributors makes the pages come to life. Not only do we get a chance to read these beautiful stories, but we also get a chance to see some of their images. The art captures the expanse of emotion, feelings and daily life as we come to terms with the transgender status of a loved one. Some of the contributors are well known authors from previous books or representatives from large organizations like PFLAG and TFYA, while others are first-time authors. This provides a good mix from such a diverse community. The stories are wonderfully organized into sections so the reader can pick and choose which selection to indulge in. This book gives voice to all of the significant others, family members, friends and allies who share in the journey of their transgender loved one. While all voices may not be included, this book opens the discussion for further inclusion. I hope that this will be one of many volumes in a large collection from Bolder Press.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Great fundamentals, but also much more
By Mitocalla
A moving and thought-provoking book. I learned so much from reading this and I walked away thinking and talking about it for some time. I learned more than I realized there was to learn on the subject of the transgender experience -- but I was also reminded of the need to examine cultural assumptions on a larger scale. In addition to conveying some of the fundamentals about the transgender and transexual experience, it raises so many issues about how we approach everything. For me, it has been a powerful reminder of how the dichotomies and oppositions that our society accepts as norms are artificial and often destructive.
The book editors have set this up in sections of essays, or in a few cases interviews, from the partners, friends, and family members of transgender people, and then stories from transgender people themselves. Each section has really basic questions and answers geared for a reader who would be reading this book to help introduce them to these ideas and to help them process an experience they are having with a transgender person close to them.
Not all of the essays will appeal or speak to each individual reader. It will depend on the readers own experience, of course. A handful are rather academic in tone, but the majority are very accessible. They are all unique and distinct and I think most readers will get something out of most of the pieces. Largely, the essays are from people who are supportive -- it's natural that family and friends who want nothing to do with the subject would not be included. So is it showing all sides of the issue? Probably not. But it's like 16 sides of the 20-sided die, as far as I'm concerned. (By which I mean: a lot of perspectives!)
Yes, this book looks and feels (reads) as self-published (and, frankly, that's why it's not 5 stars from me), but you will be missing out if you let that put you off. The content is really, really amazing. If you are interested in the topic or if you are looking to learn more about transgender experience -- both from the perspective of transgender people and from those close to them -- this is absolutely something you want to pick up.
While my own understanding of these issues is robust enough that those question-and-answer pages did not speak to me, the vast majority of the book had so much to chew on. I don't have any transgender people close to me (at least not close enough that I know they are transgender) and was reading about being an ally from the perspective of being ally for gay friends. I have a few main takeaways:
First, I really appreciated the emphasis on how coming out and transitioning affects everyone around the transgender person. When someone comes out, so do the people around them. And it follows that when they transition, the same is true. (Being close anyone who isn't fitting into any societies categories affects you, even if it's not about gender.) I think this is incredibly valuable for people -- no matter their role -- to understand.
I also really appreciated the discussions about how even when a person is part of the LGBTQ+ community, there are expectations and pressures and stereotypes that you are faced with. Even when you find your "family," you may still not find that you feel unconditionally accepted or at ease.
Another valuable concept that I'm happy they emphasized was that gender identity and sexual attraction are separate things.
And last, for me, I value having gotten fuller understanding of the concept -- and the utility of the word -- "queer." As a liberal arts college student in the 90s, when I first learned the term in an academic context, it just seemed like sort of a political term. (And in the study of literature, a critical term.) I loved how it was used here as just a way to describe any attractions that don't fit whatever norms. Because the usual categories -- even if not the majority presumptive heterosexual category -- are still reductive and restrictive categories. Queer is an incredibly useful term. But the idea that I've really latched onto is not just that the term "queer" expresses this so well -- it's that it feels like use of the word in and of itself highlights the absurdity of us needing words for any of this at all. The idea that we had to find a label for something because it is something that inherently defies labeling is, well, just crazy.
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